A24's lady bird and the intricacies of mother/daughter relationships 🐦🎭
creative coffee table books from my collection - no. 2 🖼️
Lady Bird was one of the first films I watched at the Alamo Drafthouse on South Lamar in Austin, Texas. I was 21, about six months into my post-grad full-time job, and officially living a five-hour drive from “home.” In many ways, I was beginning a new phase of my life while simultaneously reflecting on my teenage and college years.
I’d never seen a film that focused on the intricate relationship between a mother and daughter as Lady Bird did. And I cried for what felt like days. See, my mother has always been one of my biggest supporters, even when she never understood my interests, hobbies, or fashion choices.
When she graduated with her bachelor's degree from the University of Texas-Pan American. (Now, UTRGV.) I was the eight-year-old in charge of holding her congratulatory cake in the back of our car, only to squish a third of it when my dad made one of those hard turns that sent your body in the opposite direction. My mom, at least from my child eyes, didn’t make a fuss or scold me.
In the fifth grade, I decided, for whatever over-achieving “gifted and talented” reason, that I wanted to be a cheerleader, dance Folklorico, and sing in the choir. During the Christmas festival, all three groups were expected to perform back-to-back. So, my mother, surrounded by shared hairspray, colorful costumes, the clacking of dance shoes, and glitter (so much glitter), made herself dizzy, changing me in and out of outfits and following me to the stage and back.
In middle school, I wasn’t yet allowed to go to concerts on my own. So my mom joined me in seeing Boys Like Girls and Avril Lavigne. When Avril came out and screamed, “Let’s fucking go!” I swear my mom blushed her way into the seat.
But I was a little shit to her during my teen years.
See, my mom, as I knew her in my youth, was very quiet and timid. She worked hard even when the work didn’t come easy. She never really talked about her interests or dreams. (As the youngest daughter of eight and a first-generation graduate, I learned later that her behavior and personality were very different from mine because of those circumstances.) And in my young age, I felt much closer in conversation and attitude to my dad.
I was impatient and mean, often believing that I “knew more” than she did. It’s something I felt a deep shame for in my adulthood. But, I’ve acknowledged and apologized for my misplaced illusory superiority. And she’ll say it was never that bad, which is why she’s still the best.
My mother and I are in a much better relationship now. I am very grateful for this because, up until I was 21, I didn’t know if we would ever truly connect.
So, if we flash back to 2017. Before I had undergone any true trials and tribulations in life and had not yet fully formed my frontal cortex. Lady Bird hit me like a moving bus.
From Christine saying she “lives on the wrong side of the tracks” to the iconic dressing room scene and final phone call. There were themes and feelings I hadn’t seen explored in films before. And I remember sitting in that theater thinking, “I want to write and make things like this.”
Greta Gerwig has written and directed notable films like Frances Ha, Little Women, and Barbie. But Lady Bird will always hold a special place in my heart amongst all the films I have ever watched. That’s why when A24 made the screenplay into a book with added features and essays, I immediately hit add to cart and checkout.
In today’s little coffee table showcase, I’ll share some of my favorite pages from the book.
Out of all late-night show hosts, Stephen Colbert reigns supreme. I love a nerd who asks interesting questions and has charisma levels off the charts. The Lady Bird screenplay book starts with a foreword written by Colbert himself.
Life in a booming metropolis like New York City, Chicago, or London is often romanticized and used as backdrops for many films and books. So, I sincerely appreciate when smaller cities or suburbs are cinematically shot with the same attention and love. When you grow up driving the streets of your hometown, it’s only when you leave that you start to pay attention. Or, in Marion’s case, there is also a love for a place you have made your home. I feel this especially when the sun sets here in Austin, and I am driving to a familiar or frequent spot.
“I’m not a regular mom, I’m a cool mom.” Please, I beg you for anything but this. Sometimes, strict parents can be painted as a nuisance, especially to the child. And I want to be clear: I am not a parent. So, take this little tidbit with a grain of salt. But I love that Lady Bird defends her mom in the following excerpt. Her mother’s attention, good or bad, is attention nonetheless of her wellbeing.
To be loved is to be seen.
This is one of my favorite moments in the entire film. Mostly because I agree wholeheartedly. Love isn’t always grand gestures; it’s the little things.
Cue the emotions! This entire scene from the thrift shop dressing room had me like Maddy from Euphoria, “Wait, is this fucking play about us?” Trying on clothes, only for your mom to (1) hate what you chose or (2) choose something for you that you hate, is the event of teenagehood that happens to many of us. For me, it was whenever I picked out ripped jeans from PacSun or neon converse. All laughs aside, there’s something deeper in this scene that struck a chord. When Lady Bird asks, “But do you like me?” Ooof.
There’s something about goodbye scenes that can be so personal. Lady Bird, The Farewell, and Colombus continue to have the most gut-wrenching animal sob-inducing ones, in my opinion. In the following, it’s relatable to argue with someone and decide to ice them out, but Lady Bird gets it right that it’s never easy. Especially, from what I can imagine, if you’re a parent.
Spoilers! Well, I mean, this whole thing has been spoilers … But I leave you with Christine (Lady Bird) 's final phone call to her parents (mostly her mom). “Thank you.”
It's time for me to watch Ladybird again and get emotionally wrecked!!!
beautiful post! lady bird has always been one of my favorites with so many scenes that just punch you in the gut. the end scene always kills me 😭